- Yesterday, I went out with gracia for dinner. It was nice. Everything was good and we talked a lot of crappy stuff. I can hardly talk crappy stuff to her in the past. And i think we left a good impression in the both of us. That's good. I told her about the things that had happened in my life since the last meet up, except my relationship with jessica. Somehow, I wanted to tell her, but I think it is still better not to. Maybe I think too much. But I don't want the conversation to get dry. I don't know if she has any feelings for me, and I don't want to find out either. I think somethings is better that we don't find out. Just like how jessica is feeling now, or what she is thinking now. If finding out hurts my heart, I rather I don't. We bump into each other a few times, of course its accidentally, I swear. I didn't bump into her on purpose (maybe she did it on purpose.. haha just joking). I don't know, but it sort of feel good to be with her that night. The feeling of liking her came back a little, but I stopped it. And it feels a bit different from the past. In the past, I feel stress with her, but now, I guess I can counter all her craps, so I feel more at ease. Haha.
Today, I have CIC class but I forgot to bring the book. In fact, chris, fiona, and me, none of us brought the book. And of course we got scolded by mingli. We expected it. Seriously, none of us like her style of talking to us, her leadership. No wonder people start to leave. I would not be surprise if one day the whole cell group would just disband. Then after that, I went to IT fair alone. I wanted to take a breather from everyone. Walking in the crowd, being un-noticeable, it just feels great, because I can be the real me.
When jessica left on the train before me, I still feel a little hurt, but I soon got over it. I thought i could alight before her, but I'm wrong. Damn. Oh well, better luck next time. Right now, I feel as if I'm fighting a war with her. She don't give in, and neither do I. So its a battle of who can last longer. If she can be cold hearted, so can I.
`Sometimes @ 7:27 PM
