- Its been a really long time since I last sat down and blogged. Actually I dont really have the intention to blog cos I dun want to remind myself of the sad memories that happened. But just in case I happen to lose my memory some day, this blog would remind me of who I used to be. For the past few months, there wasn't really anything big that happens except for the relationship with rabbit and the cell group. As part of my life journey, I'll recall back to the 1st day we met.
18 Aug 07
I met jessica at Jurong west church. We were able to click and talk to each other. Maybe I'm more open to new friends at that time. And we became very good friends. We called and send regards to each other, called each other for dinner, and went out to play together. It was really great.
We remained for very good friends for quite a few months. And as our feelings grew, I began to call her dear even when we are not in a relationship.
Months later, I gave the first kiss on her forehead at her void deck. It took me 3 chances to bring out my courage to kiss her.
Then months later, I gave her a kiss on the lips. Its was in the afternoon at her house. And we were preparing to go the the escape theme park I think.
21 Jan 08
I started messaging her every morning to bless her with joy to last throughout the day. Though I run out of ideas sometimes, I still try to think of ways to make it creative. Thank God for that.
24 Jan 08
I celebrated Jessica's b'day with her. The day before, I gave her a birthday surprise. I bought the pooh bear that I promised and placed it on her bed. Thank God her father allowed me in to put it. The next day, I called her out to celebrate her b'day. We went to the glasshouse (fish and co and dobhy ghuat). I called the singer to sing a b'day song for her. Unfortunately, she fell down when we were leaving and I didnt managed to catch her. I think at that time I have already started to hold her hands.
At night, despite the tiredness and school next day, I laid candles at her void deck cos I want to make it a memorable birthday for her. It was extremely troublesome, but knowing that she appreciated it, I felt its worth it. It is my first time doing such thing also.
9 Feb 08
It was the chinese new year period. We celebrated it by going to Batam on the second day. The feeling was great. I never go overseas with just 2 person before. We were really enjoying ourselves at that time. Its like a honeymoon for us.
14 Feb 08
We celebrated our 1st valentine's together. I took some time despite my quiz to do roses and stars for her. Though it was hard to make the roses, I still manage to made it. We went to clarke quay to eat. Sitting by the river was romantic. She gave me a card to express her love. I was touched.
15 Feb 08
It was after cell group and we decided to tell mingli about us. She was shocked at first, but everything was still alright. Thank God that He made it through for us. I was very glad when she say mingli told her that she could entrust jess in me.
17 March 08
I decided to take a step of faith and ask her to me by girlfriend. I messaged her at 1st then called her. In the phone, I thought I heard she said now is not the time yet. Well, a bit disappointed at first, but I decided to give her more time also. Then we met up at night. Didnt really talk about it cos I dun noe how to bring out the topic. Also, I quite scare of rejection,maybe its due to my past experiences.
Just outside her house, we finally talked abt it. And it was quite funny. I didnt know that she would agree to it. It was 11.23pm 17 march 08 where this new chapter began.
03 May 08
However, all good things come to an end. We have miscommunication along the way. And we nearly broke up once. I ran after her. It was the first time I did that for any girl. I guess I just love her too much that I dont want to lose her. But it didnt turn out well. She sent me a broke up message that really broke my heart. She was the 2nd person girl who has seen me teared. My first was my mom when I quarreled with her. We managed to patch up after that. But it didnt last long. On 03 May 08, she sent me another broke up message. My heart ache again. It was painful. I expected it to turn out this way, but I didnt get myself prepared for it.
There has been lots of things that lead to this breakup. But I'm not gonna mention them again. They are just the past memories.
Now, we remained as good friends. My feelings towards her now is_________. I guess somethings only have to be said at the right time. And now, it is not the time yet.
`Sometimes @ 1:50 PM
