- Things were really dramatic yesterday. I don't know what really happened to me. But one thing I know for sure, I made my dear sad, and angry. I wasn't really in the mood to meet her and send her home, but God gave me that direction, and I want to go with it. But in the end, I didn't. I have never done something as dramatic as this before. I walked out on her. But she followed, despite her muscleaches. And I think I'm a total jerk. I don't even know why I do that for. Maybe I just felt like being alone. Then when I lost her, I went back to look for her. I was worried that she might not be able to take it and collapse. But when I caught up with her, I ignored her again. And this time round, she didn't turn back. She continued to walk till I completely lost her. I called, but my tone was a bit unfriendly. And in the end, she got fed up and took a cab home. All this could have been prevented if I have controlled myself, my emotions. I just got fed up when she made me waited for an hour when I could have gone to buy my shoes. But guys are suppose to wait for girls, isnt it? I think it might be the devil inside me that made me lost control. Then I felt really guilty for not sending her home because I think God wanted me to do so. And I guilty making her took cab home, and making her walk long distances. I really hope that this would not happen again. Please God, don't make it happen again. I know that I have to end this problem that I have created, so I made a trip down to her house to apologise, despite me knowing that my mom will definitely scold me if I go home late. But if I don't resolve the problem immediately, it might just get worse. I don't want it to get worse, because I love her. The day before was the first day I receive a kiss from a girl, and the first day I kissed anyone on the lips. And it was fantastic. But yesterday was terrible. Thank God that she forgave me. But I know that no matter how many apologises I made, I have already created scars in her heart. And scares don't go away easily. I really hope that I won't create any more scars in the future.
`Sometimes @ 11:01 AM
