- Indeed mingli's words did anoint me in a way yesterday.
Before I went to the cell group, I was feeling very moody, very tired. So tired that I don't even feel like going. I could have just switched my phone off, and disappear. But I didn't. Something in me pressed me on. I guess that might be the love for God. Though I might still have doubts sometimes, I choose to continue to love God. My moodiness just keeps filling me, consuming every single part of me. I was afraid that my feelings might affect the emotions of the cell group. But fortunately, it didn't. It suddenly disappeared the moment I saw Chris and Malcolm. And I started talking to them. I suddenly feel very energetic, and the all tiredness seemed to have disappear.
Sometimes, I see myself having the responsibility of holding the cell group together. Its not just mingli's job to do that. Every single one of us plays a part. Every action, every word, every little things that we do affect all the others in the cell group. Because we are all connected. We all belong to a single body, and mingli is the head, where the anointment flows from. When any single part of the body is sick, the disease will just spread to all the other parts, because we share the same blood. So, we have to constantly look out for each other, constantly show our care and concern for one another.
I was praying to God before mingli preached that she will bring a good word that can anoint me. And indeed, God answered my prayer.
要走的人， 迟早会走的。
That was what pastor kong said last week. Mingli brought it up again last night. There are somethings that you have to let go in order to pursue God. Some have let go of friendships, some, kinships, and others, relationships. I have let go of my kinship in the past when I pursue after god. Now, I just want to leave everything to God on where this path between me and you will lead to. 要走的人， 迟早会走的. I don't know if you will continue to wait for me, but I can only say that from here on, I'll treat you as a friend, and nothing else. When I talk to you, and show care and concern for you, I'll only do it from a friend's point of view. I can say that I still like you now. I can only guarantee that it will take some time(might be years) before I am ready. And if you want to wait for me, let me know. Because right now, I'm doing it for God and myself, and I can include you too if you want to wait for me.
Honestly speaking, I don't know how long I can last in this race with God. My family hasn't been very supportive. I just pray that there will be more things in this cell group that I can hang on to and everyone in the cell shows more care and concern so that I don't give up easily.
`Sometimes @ 11:28 AM
