- Someone told me that she read 90% of my blog posts already. I wasn't really surprised though, judging by the person she is. But I'm quite curious why someone would want to dig out your past post to read.
And so, I was curious about what I wrote in my past and dug them out to read as well. Can't imagine I'm saying this, but I actually like my past. The ugly side, the happy side and the childish side of me. If you haven't notice, all my past posts are actually quite childish (I think). But I like it that way. That's actually the real me. But now, I guess its gone. I don't know. Or maybe, its hidden deep in my soul, waiting to be released. Well, you can't expect a 22 yr old adult to show his childish side to everyone rite? As we grow up, we are forced to adopt the adult mindset and hide the childish mindset that we once had.
But of course, everyone will have their own personal space where they can be the person they really are. And in here, this is the person that I really am.
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Have I mentioned about my recent meeting with her? Guess I didn't. I went out for a small gathering recently. We went to catch the enchanted movie, and had ice-creams after that. The meeting wasn't as bad as I thought it would. Well, at least it was much better than the ones we had before. We talked about stuff that's happening in our lives. I'm glad I shared, because I rarely share with her. And somehow, we didn't talk about the issue six months ago. The kiss. Its amazing how we can pretend that nothing has happened before.
I once told my friend that if both parties remain as good friends after a breakup, there can only be two possibilities:
1. You have never been truly in love with her before,
2. You still love her in your heart, but you don't want her to know.
Some people would say that there is the 3rd option where they have gotten over one another. But is this really possible? Seek the answer from the bottom of your heart.
Well, for me, I wasn't sure myself. Once, I really liked her, but now, the feeling just disappear. So I guess it's the 1st option.
Now, why am I saying all this? As I read through my past posts just now, I mentioned how I longed for single hood, and how relationships can be troublesome. But somehow, I find myself liking someone. How contradicting is that?
Also, back in those JC days, I told my friends that pure friendship can exist between a guy and a girl, even when they are best friends. I tried to prove myself back then, but failed. And throughout the years I have been experimenting with it. And somehow, I succeeded. But after you succeed, you began to doubt yourself, doubt your feelings between you and her. Is this really pure friendship or something else? I was very afraid that this friendship might develop further, and somehow, I have to stop it before it get deeper. Scary isn't it? That how powerful our emotions can get. It engulfs our sanity and took control of us. Then, there will be people out there who tries to reinforce this emotion on us. I have been fooled by them once, and I won't get fooled again.
Ok.. this post is somehow more chim than the normal ones I had. Its ok if you don't uderstand what I'm writing, cos its meant solely for my own understanding only. =)
`Sometimes @ 8:32 PM
