- I was on the mrt train with lennette yesterday when i saw an old man boarded the train. At that point in time, he was standing at a distance from my seat and I really felt like giving up my seat for him. So I told myself this: If you come close to my seat, I'll give you my seat. But in the end, he never came close. A few stops later, he finally managed to find a seat. Thank god.
Actually, this same rule applies to all those who never want to open up their heart to certain things. Just because you don't want to open up your heart, you never come close to those who really want to help you.
Lately, I have been visiting my friend's church and my friend's cell group in an attempt to find out more about Christianity. Well, I can only say that Christianity has a different set of believes compared to all the other religions. They believe in having a relationship with God, or Jesus Christ. During those cell group meetings that i attended, I did sense something different. I'll have goosebumps and tears when I sang some of the songs. Mingli and huimin told me that it is actually your holly spirit trying to connect you to god. I don't know how true it is, but I do believe that, if you seek, you'll find.
Things have been a bit different after I believe that Jesus is alive. Sleepless nights, stress and guilt. I don't know why, but I feel like I might just explode anytime. I have enough school work to occupy my mind.. now this. I have always been a Buddhist and I have never had the thought of becoming a christian. Now, since I believe that both exist, I guess that I have make a choice between the two soon.
The church sent me a letter today. I knew it would come one day, since i have given my address to the church. What I was afraid was, if my parents had opened that letter and found that i have been going to church, they would have killed me. But fortunately, they didn't. Thank god for that. Well, I guess they will still find out sooner or later. I just hope that they will be 'open' enough to accept it.
Now, even as im writing this, I'm getting a headache. I just hope that all this will be over soon.
`Sometimes @ 2:03 PM
