- Things have been happening these past few days. Lots of things. I was so vexed about my mixed feelings sometimes that I have to use work to prevent myself from thinking too much again.
You know, I actually admire those people who committed suicide, cos they have the courage to do it. It actually takes a lot of courage to die, to leave your friends, family, and love ones behind. As for me, I have actually thought of a lot of ways to die, but something just cling on to me. Maybe I'm not ready. Will I ever be? Will I ever be ready to let everything go?
People say that suicide is a stupid way to die. In fact, it really is, because suicide is considered as a crime, and u'll still be handcuffed after u died. So, the best way is still to commit suicide and make it look like an accident. Don't laugh, I'm serious.
Last Friday didn't go as smoothly as i thought it would be, and I'm regretting some of the things that I did. Inexperience. Maybe the timing wasn't right. Maybe the letter came a few months late. Or maybe, we was just not suitable for each other. Somehow, I knew from the start that the chemistry wasn't there, but I still went on. Now, I just want to leave everything behind, and let studies and work be the soul of my life.
`Sometimes @ 12:53 AM
