Happiness Vs Unhappiness
Are u happy with ur life right now? Have u really really been happy before?
Sad to say, i've never been really really really happy before. There are of course little bits of happy moments in my life, but its the unhappiness that makes up the majority.
From young, i've been a remote toy made by my parents.. especially my mother. Im not allowed to do this or do that unless approved. Even now, she is still trying to control my life. Though she doesnt interfer with my circle of friends, she's still trying to control my decision making for major events in life. She doesnt allow me to go overseas with my friends, she doesnt allow me to live in hostel.. etc. Not only am i affected by her "supremecy", my sisters were affected too. And its not tt i've never rebel against, but im just too sick of it. I really had bad bad experience with her. Now, she doesnt quarrel with me anymore.. she nags. And im super afraid of her nagging. SUPER AFRAID. Just to stop her from nagging, i'll do what she told me to do. And to everyone, it would seem tt im a mummy boy who still listens to my mother.. whereas im just gathering forces within me waiting for the right moment to break free...
Sometimes i feel really alone in this world...
Im not close to my family as i use to be.. I stopped talking to my small sister after having a big quarrel years ago. Never talk to her for more than 10 sentences for a year... Everyone says that the bond always gets stronger after every fight.. but doesnt seems to works here.
My older sister has a boyfriend now and she is always trying to avoid mother's nagging by going to work early and coming back late. And i never talk to her cause i never found a common topic to talk about.
Never talk to my neighbours cos from young my mother dont like them.. and she prevented us from interacting with them.
Havent see my mother's relatives for like 3 yrs already. Ever since my grandmother died, my mother never had the chance to visit them. She's always working on chinese new year.. Yes, we could go there by ourselves.. but she advised us not to...
For my fathers side.. the relative also seems to be getting smaller. Used to have 20+ ppl gathering for dinner. Now its just left with the few of us. Some left and never come back, and some died. Every yr the ang bao seems to be getting smaller also.. haiz..
Well.. think tt left with only my friends tt i can rely on.. but friends come and go. They have a life of their own too. They make new friends. And soon u'll lose contact with them. Just like how a wife is different from a girlfriend. A wife is a permanent thingy while a girlfriend is only a temporary thingy. Just like family members and relatives are permanent while friends are only temporary. Its just different.
Friends = temporary happiness
Family = permanent happiness
Sad to say, i've never been really really really happy before. There are of course little bits of happy moments in my life, but its the unhappiness that makes up the majority.
From young, i've been a remote toy made by my parents.. especially my mother. Im not allowed to do this or do that unless approved. Even now, she is still trying to control my life. Though she doesnt interfer with my circle of friends, she's still trying to control my decision making for major events in life. She doesnt allow me to go overseas with my friends, she doesnt allow me to live in hostel.. etc. Not only am i affected by her "supremecy", my sisters were affected too. And its not tt i've never rebel against, but im just too sick of it. I really had bad bad experience with her. Now, she doesnt quarrel with me anymore.. she nags. And im super afraid of her nagging. SUPER AFRAID. Just to stop her from nagging, i'll do what she told me to do. And to everyone, it would seem tt im a mummy boy who still listens to my mother.. whereas im just gathering forces within me waiting for the right moment to break free...
Sometimes i feel really alone in this world...
Im not close to my family as i use to be.. I stopped talking to my small sister after having a big quarrel years ago. Never talk to her for more than 10 sentences for a year... Everyone says that the bond always gets stronger after every fight.. but doesnt seems to works here.
My older sister has a boyfriend now and she is always trying to avoid mother's nagging by going to work early and coming back late. And i never talk to her cause i never found a common topic to talk about.
Never talk to my neighbours cos from young my mother dont like them.. and she prevented us from interacting with them.
Havent see my mother's relatives for like 3 yrs already. Ever since my grandmother died, my mother never had the chance to visit them. She's always working on chinese new year.. Yes, we could go there by ourselves.. but she advised us not to...
For my fathers side.. the relative also seems to be getting smaller. Used to have 20+ ppl gathering for dinner. Now its just left with the few of us. Some left and never come back, and some died. Every yr the ang bao seems to be getting smaller also.. haiz..
Well.. think tt left with only my friends tt i can rely on.. but friends come and go. They have a life of their own too. They make new friends. And soon u'll lose contact with them. Just like how a wife is different from a girlfriend. A wife is a permanent thingy while a girlfriend is only a temporary thingy. Just like family members and relatives are permanent while friends are only temporary. Its just different.
Friends = temporary happiness
Family = permanent happiness
`Sometimes @ 2:21 PM
