Just went pass China Town yesterday night,and it was as usual.. crowded.. The chinese new year atmosphere is definately there.. everywhere was having sale and discounts..
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A friend of mine just told me something that i think is very true.. She told me that im always thinking on the negative side of things.. and that i shld really start appreciating friends around me, or i'll regret it..
Yup.. i got this feeling that i have been separated from all my friends around me.. and we were not that close anymore.. and its mostly my fault.. really.. They have stretched out their hands for me.. but im just too lazy to stretch out my own hands..
And when im with them, i dun know what to talk abt also.. I've been so outdated that sometimes i dun understand they were talking..
Now if u were my friend and were reading this post, dont be guilty or upset... Im just writing down how i feel.. I know all u guys have put in a lot of effort and i appreciate it.. ;)
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Ok.. now back to the new year.. Its two weeks and counting.. Yup.. and my family havent even prepared for the festival XD... Hmm well.. normally my father and sisters will do all the cooking for the reunion dinner while my mother would be at work.. sad right? im used to it already... My mother would rather earn more money to support the family than to sit down at the reunion table with us... it has been years since i saw her at the reunion table.. Well.. its nothing to do with family realtionships or what.. just pure work.. She'll always say that its a 'double pay' day.. so she'll rather work thru out the new yr..
Seriously speaking, im not as close to my mother as when i was young.. we somehow got a gap between us. When i was at home, she'll be working.. And when im not, she'll be. She only comes home at the middle of the night when most of us are asleep.
She did realise that we are drifting apart and attempted to pull me back.. But i didnt put in that effort.. It takes two hands to clap.. but my hand wasnt there..
She somehow gaveup on me.. but i know that one day, when i reached out my hands for her, she'll be there.
I know i really sound like a jerk and a complete idiot.. and im not sure why i've become so isolated to myself.. It could be the influence of the people around me, or the incidents that have happen in my life.. And i know im gonna need lots and lots of effort to change back...
Haha.. Im being depressing..
`Sometimes @ 11:02 AM
